As a young kid it was hard for me to not have a father. It bothered me knowing he was alive and didn’t want anything to do with me. He chose drugs over being there for my mom, brother and me. We ended up in a worse situation with my stepfather. He was often drunk and my mom was responsible for everything.
My big brother did everything he could to help me. He moved to Big Oak Ranch. I felt alone.
My mom wanted to give my brother and me a better life and eventually I went to Big Oak also. She made the right choice, but at the time I was angry. I didn’t realize the impact of the difficult decision Mom made for my brother and me until I got older. I am forever thankful.
My brother and I lived with the same houseparents, Barry and Donna Ryan. My transition to the Ranch was eased a bit because I already knew some things about it from visits with my brother.
I remember Mom and Pop Ryan looking at me like they had known me my whole life and taking me as their own. I did not know what a family looked like, but I was shown immediately what family is by my houseparents and housebrothers.
The bonds I was able to build at the Ranch are strong. My housebrothers are my brothers. I also considered the other boys who lived in different houses on the Ranch my brothers.
Some of my fondest memories with my brothers were playing outside at the Ranch, going to the baseball field, playing soccer, or being in the Bryant Home front yard where everyone played football.
Often a houseparent would open the gym, and we would all play basketball until we were so tired we couldn’t move. Growing up at the Ranch, I was able to be a kid.
At Westbrook Christian School, I got involved with extra-curricular activities. I was a part of teams playing football and basketball. Doing chores in our home and being on the Equip Team were encouraged, and we did them together. Buying our first car was a big goal for all of us. I learned how to balance responsibilities in our home and in the classroom while I was involved in a youth group and sports.
During my senior year of high school, I was able to get a job off the Ranch. This soon led to a server position at a large local restaurant. It was hard work, but I enjoyed it. I kept that job until I graduated from college.
After graduating from Westbrook Christian School, I attended Jacksonville State University. My Ranch family supported me throughout this opportunity, and I was able to graduate. I understand this is a great accomplishment, and it was pretty cool to have my mom with Mom and Pop Ryan at graduation celebrating with me.
From a kid who didn’t understand what family looked like to being the first in my family to graduate from college – thank you so much, Big Oak Family!
There are so many Big Oak supporters who pour into all of us who call the Ranch home. Many of them reached out and got to know me. They walked with me through my journey and still are a part of my life. Thank you!
Sometimes you feel there is a stigma because of your story or where you came from. I wonder if my Ranch siblings feel that also. I want to be an encouragement to them. Mom Ryan said it best: “Remember who you are and what you stand for.”
In October 2023, I met Kelsey Lowke. As we started getting to know each other, it was important for me to be transparent about my life and where I grew up. Kelsey quickly visited the Ranch, getting to know my family. She met my houseparents and they loved her right away.
When we are in Gadsden, we visit Ranch family. When we have game nights and catch up about life, Kelsey is right there with me.
Kelsey is loving, caring and beautiful. I was nervous when I asked her to marry me and thrilled when she said, “Yes!” When Kelsey and I get married on November 7, my brother and Ranch brother will be my best men standing with us, along with two other Ranch brothers. My mom, houseparents and many others from our Ranch family will also be there. The foundation that Mom, Pop Ryan, and Big Oak Ranch planted has prepared me for this time.
I will forever be grateful for Big Oak Ranch.
“When Gilbert and I started dating, he talked about growing up at the Ranch and the community who supported him. I was in complete awe meeting his Ranch family. They all have such kind hearts.”
— Kelsey
