We want Christmas to be a time when we slow down and savor our family traditions, rather than rush from one thing to the next.
Our eight kids range from 10 to 17, and every year they are anxious to pick out our Christmas tree as soon as possible. They love pulling out the ornaments we’ve collected from our trips and hanging them on the tree. Each of our girls also has a little tree in her bedroom that she decorates in her own style.
We search for our family tree at a local tree farm where we cut it down ourselves. The kids enjoy s’mores, hot chocolate, hayrides, and running between the trees to find the perfect one. It becomes a day instead of checking the box that we got a tree.
Several of our girls have experienced difficult circumstances, including adoptions that did not work out. While Christmas is full of fun traditions, I think they feel most loved through the consistent, everyday care we give them at Christmas and throughout the year.
What Our Kids Think Matters
At the beginning of November, we ask our kids about the memories that are important to them, the traditions they want to continue, and the foods they enjoy at Christmas. We’re creating a culture around Christmas, but we want them to be part of it because what they think matters.
A tradition they look forward to is buying gifts with their personal allowances for children from low-income families. Last year, every one of them went above and beyond with the gifts they picked out.
When I choose gifts for our own children, I take notes throughout the year about their interests and what they notice in stores. It’s a simple way to remind them, “I see you. I know you. I was thinking about you.”
“I see you. I know you. I was thinking about you.”
Slowing Down
One of our most meaningful traditions is also one of the slowest.
Four weeks before Christmas, we begin a nightly Advent devotional where we turn out the lights and light candles. We read Scripture, enjoy the beauty of artwork, and sing Christmas carols together.
With eight girls in our house, there is plenty of noise and activity, but when we sit together by candlelight, everything feels different. It creates a calming rhythm in our home. Appreciating beauty is a big emphasis in our family, as much as we can in a world that moves so fast.
I think the girls’ favorite part of our Advent tradition is still fighting over who gets to blow out the candles at the end of the evening. But it’s also a time to be intentional — a slowed-down, sacred moment that I hope and trust is doing work in the soil of their hearts as we anticipate Jesus’ coming.
Making Room
We want to push back against the consumerism and hustle that can take over the season, but there is also a time for gifts, and we love that part of Christmas too.
Leading up to Christmas, we go to the Alabama Theatre to see a Christmas musical and enjoy a fancy dinner. We have gingerbread house decorating contests and stay up late on Christmas Eve making homemade cinnamon rolls.
On Christmas morning, we wrap each child’s gifts in different wrapping paper. The kids complete little challenges, like an antler ring toss or a scavenger hunt, to figure out which wrapping paper is theirs. Since pulling off Christmas for a big family is a massive operation, we have the kids open one present at a time so we can enjoy the moment.
Above all, it’s important to us to make room for what Christmas is really about: Jesus, the Incarnation.
During Advent, as we sit in the dark by candlelight and read the Word of God, we’re reminded that Advent is about waiting with Hope for the Light to come. It’s a picture of the truth that even when things feel dark in your life, the light of Christ shines into the darkness.
And we wait.
Just as people have waited for thousands of years for the coming Messiah, we wait with Hope for Christ’s return, when everything will be made new.
That same Hope of Christ is taking root in our children’s hearts — not only through our Christmas traditions, but through the everyday rhythms of family life at the Ranch.
— Nick and Angelle Missios, Big Oak Ranch Houseparents
Make This Christmas One They’ll Never Forget.