In a house full of girls, our 9-foot pink Christmas tree is filled with reminders of the memories we’ve made together. One of our girls’ favorite traditions is hanging the ornaments they’ve made over the years. They’ll say, Mom, remember when I made this one?
Behind these traditions is something deeper: our girls want to be known and loved. They crave normalcy—to have the kinds of memories other kids have. When they hang their monogram stockings, seeing their initials reminds them they are part of a family that knows them.
That same desire to be known is why we thoughtfully choose gifts for each of our girls. One Christmas, an eight-year-old girl who had recently joined our family couldn’t come up with a Christmas list. So I asked her what she received the year before to help her along. She said she got a used nail file and leftover nail polish.
Today, she is in high school, and it is still hard for her to fill out a Christmas list. When she opens her presents, I see her gratitude in the way she sits with her things instead of rushing to the next gift. Last Christmas, when she saw a pair of slides and a hoodie picked just for her, she was in tears. She realized that someone knew her and thought about her.
As our girls are learning to be loved, we also want them to learn to love others. Each Christmas, they use their own money to fill stockings for children in emergency shelters. They always make sure to include a toy because they remember how much that meant to them when they were in a similar situation.
From serving together to watching “A Christmas Story” on repeat, enjoying Coca-Cola ham and hashbrown casserole, late-night trips to Waffle House in Christmas pajamas, and attending candlelight services celebrating our Savior’s birth, these are memories they can carry with them.
I can’t make up for their Christmases that weren’t great, but we can change the script so Christmas is special now. Through these traditions and the memories we’re creating, we want our girls to know that Christmas is about more than what’s under the tree. It’s a time to experience the love of family and the love of Christ.
It’s a time for them to know:
— Suzanne Miller, Big Oak Ranch houseparent
Make This Christmas One They’ll Never Forget.