Certain things stand out to me when I think about my childhood. I remember drugs being in my parents’ home. I remember missing a lot of school. My family seemed to be in court a lot. I didn’t really see my dad much. I remember a phone call my mom had one day. At the time, I wasn’t sure who she was talking to or who she was talking about, but I remember her saying, “I can’t deal with them anymore.” It wasn’t long before my brother and I were taken to an extended family member, and we never lived with our parents again.
This path eventually brought me to Big Oak Ranch.
During my first week at the Ranch, I met with Mr. John and Mrs. Mary. At first, I thought Mr. John was scary, but I soon realized he was just really tall and had a deep voice. He told me the Four Promises, and I still remember them to this day. I also remember thinking, “That is what everybody says.” But the longer I was there, I realized these people really stick with and keep those Four Promises.
I saw something different in my houseparents. They didn’t fight like the other adults in my life. Mom would get us all together in a circle and pray with us. They made us have study time and kept up with our grades. I got good grades at Westbrook, and I had never done that before. We had fun family outings and would go hiking and swimming at the lake. We played games and worked at the barn. All of these times together were so much fun!
But I had a bad attitude. At the time, at that younger age, I couldn’t see the good. This affected my time at the Ranch, and looking back I regret that so much. When I lived at the Ranch, I thought they were just there to do whatever children needed for that particular day and time. After I left, I didn’t think anyone at Big Oak still cared about me.
Five years ago, I was able to reconnect with my houseparents, and their actions showed that they did still love and care about me. My houseparents are “Mom” and “Dad.” They are grandparents to my children. They text me, asking about the boys and how our week is going and continue to be a part of our lives. We spend holidays with them, and their door is always open for me and my family. I always feels like I am home the minute we pull under the Big Oak Girls’ Ranch. Mom and Dad Thomas always make our favorite meal, and my boys love seeing them and playing with my house sisters. There’s never a dull moment!
My husband, Casey, and I have been married since 2019 and have two wonderful sons, Bryce (4 yrs old) and Cooper (2 yrs old). I am also a student and work part-time. Our life is hectic, just like Ranch life. Casey and I always have appointments to go to, errands to run, and multiple schedules to manage. Watching my houseparents manage our home at the Ranch definitely prepared me for this time in my life. They met mine and all of my sisters’ needs while juggling medical appointments, school meetings and sporting events, as well as planning plenty of quality fun time for our family as a whole. That’s a big job, but I could always tell my houseparents loved what they did. Even on the harder days, when me and my sisters misbehaved, Mom and Dad Thomas loved us unconditionally.
Having a family of my own, we get to make all of the memories we want and start our own family traditions. We love to hunt, camp and any family activities we all can do together. We take the boys on trips, ride our razor and play at the park. Cooper likes to do everything Bryce does. It doesn’t matter what it is, Cooper is following his big brother. Bryce likes to fish and hunt for turtles. Cooper is normally two steps behind him. If one gets in trouble and has to sit in the corner for a little break time, the other will sit with him. Bryce is now super excited about starting “big boy school,” but Cooper is going to be upset when he realizes he is not going to big boy school too. Pray for us :-).
Casey recently began a new job at Utilities, Inc. with opportunities for development and growth. I am so proud of him, and I know he is going to do well. He works so hard for the boys and me. Casey and I want our boys to have everything we didn’t have – love, structure, discipline and stability. My relationship with Casey is important to my houseparents, and they encourage us to take time for each other. They teach and practice that healthy marriage encourages the whole family. I love having someone that I can text and talk with about my family. Big Oak Ranch is not just there for me. They are there for me, Casey and our boys.
Everybody who serves at Big Oak is making a difference and helping change children’s lives, even when they are hard to deal with like I was. I see younger girls living with my houseparents, and it makes me happy. They are my house sisters, and I know they are safe, they are getting what they need, and they are loved – just like me!
Hallie McCrory