As a child, my story was tattered with abuse and neglect. My mother struggled with drug addiction and mental health issues. She was never able to fully shake her dependence on drugs or men, and still struggles with relationships and her mental health to this day. My father was in and out of jail due to theft, drugs and rape. When I was around 5 years old, he was sent to the state penitentiary with a life sentence. He recently passed away, still in prison, at the age of 65.
All through my childhood we bounced around from place to place to avoid child services and authorities. Sometimes we wouldn’t go to school. We would be left with strangers and random men. I became the most consistent caretaker for my younger sisters. One afternoon, my mom took my sisters and me to the grocery store, went inside and never came back out. After awhile, a police officer came up to the window of the car and started asking me questions. Eventually they told me that my mom had left and that we were going to live with my paternal grandparents for a while.
While living in their home, incest and sexual abuse began. It was supposed to have been a safe place for us, but it wasn’t. My grandparents had relatives in and out of the home a lot and overlooked the abuse that was happening to us. As the oldest, I had to take care of my younger sisters and be their parent and caregiver most of the time.
In elementary school my principal noticed signs that concerned her and began talking to me. I felt comfortable opening up to her about things that were happening at home. She was one of the first people I remember who genuinely cared. She was determined to get help for my sisters and me. One afternoon a DHR worker came to the school and talked to me about all the things I had told the principal. She assured me that everything was going to be okay and that she was getting me out of the home and would be moving my sisters out soon after.
When we moved to Big Oak Ranch, we were finally free. It took me a long time to realize that the Ranch was our saving grace. It was hard for me to let go of the responsibilities of parenting my sisters. All of a sudden, I only had myself to focus on. I began to work through my trauma with counselors who really taught me a lot about what a trusting relationship should be. I had to find out who I really was and my own identity.
John Croyle and my Big Oak family changed my entire life. The seeds planted there, with structure and discipline, have helped me in each step of my life. My favorite memory about growing up at Big Oak is being on the lake at the Ranch. I loved canoeing and swimming. It is such a beautiful, safe place for me. Having the lake area to run around and play, I knew no one was going to hurt me anymore and I was free of fear.
After moving from the Ranch as a young adult, I was able to form strong relationships and trust others and the support they could provide me. I’ve been able to heal and open my heart to others. Family is not who you are born to, it is who accepts you and loves you regardless of the storms you have weathered. These experiences have shaped me into a person who has built a healthy marriage with a man who respects me, and we daily walk through storms of life together. If I had stayed in my birth home, I would have never been stable because of the lack of consistency.
Jamey and I have been married for 24 years. We love to spend time with our family, especially our grandchildren. We are in the season of life, now having grown children, we are starting to travel, and getting to know each other all over again. We don’t sweat the small stuff and we have fun together. We have been through a few storms and, we see the other side. We are thankful for each other. Life is pretty simple and I love that.
Our daughter Hope, is a beautiful, humble soul. She has a big heart and loves everybody. We were able to give her a stable, loving home, and she earned a scholarship to college. Hope enjoys working in the medical field. Hope and her husband, Christian, have a wonderful marriage and I know, without a shadow of doubt, that they are building a strong home together. Jamey and I are blessed with the peace that comes from their relationship.
Last May, our grandson, Payton Luke, was dedicated at church. What a wonderful celebration this was for our entire family. They also have a new addition to their growing family – Caleb Lane was born in January. “My cup runneth over.”
When I visit the Ranch, I am overcome with emotions. When I came to Big Oak there were four homes at the Girls’ Ranch. It is incredible to see how far my home has come. All the services Big Oak is able to provide for children in crisis; what a blessing. The resources are incredible – they save lives. Big Oak Ranch is more than just a place of shelter, it is a family and a legacy. I’ll never forget the values built from my time there. They taught me to love God and myself.
Today, I am known as Bree Sorgee, a loving wife, a caring friend, mother and BeBe to my grandchildren. I no longer have to live under the shadow of pain from my past. I openly wear it as a badge of courage and determination. I proudly say that Big Oak Ranch set me on a path to success, and I am forever grateful.
Bree Sorgee
