I was 13 when my brother and I were placed at Big Oak Ranch.
My Daddy died when I was young and my mom did the best she could. We had a loving home. My Mom had severe medical issues and we were poor – nothing to spare poor.
Mom was often sick and in the hospital. Some of those times, my brothers and I would stay by ourselves. Neighbors would make sure we were OK. Mom’s health continued to deteriorate, and we needed to be elsewhere. Our sister Donnice found Big Oak Ranch and took me out there. Asking what I thought, I told Donnice I did not want to live there. She brought me anyway. I felt completely stuck and resentment for my sister set in.
Donnice did not allow my feelings to influence her presence in my life. She visited, checked on me, and walked this new path, knowing this was the right direction. Big Oak was where I needed to be. I am thankful that Donnice and I are as close as ever to this day.
On the playground at my new school, brothers also living at the Ranch were playing with a hacky sack and asked if I wanted to play. I couldn’t do it well, but it didn’t matter. Those Ranch brothers didn’t make fun of me – they made me feel like a person. Life was different at the Ranch. I didn’t have to fight anymore. I had friends and Ranch brothers.
Every day we were outside – riding bikes, playing at the baseball field, or fishing and I got to play football at Westbrook.
We were all equal at the Ranch. My house brothers and I were treated the same. My houseparents called me son and took time to get to know what was important to me.
My favorite days at the Ranch were workdays. I was one of the boys that helped lay the sod on the softball field. John worked with us that day, side by side with my Ranch brothers and housedads. At the Ranch I was shown that relationships take work. I saw that with John and Mrs. Tee. When they were together, they worked hard. I saw Mrs. Tee work at Westbrook in the classroom. Then, after school, she would tutor us. Before coming to live at the Ranch I didn’t make effort, but the teachers at Westbrook took time to encourage and work with students.
“My houseparents called me son and took time to get to know what was important to me.”
John worked with us all over the Ranch. He would ride by, and say “I cannot stay long, I have to be up at the office,” – then two hours later he would finally go to the office. You could tell John was tired, but he kept going. He was on Ranch, at the office, or on the road speaking – doing what it took to keep the Ranch open. As a kid I could see it in their faces – John and Mrs. Tee were tired, but it didn’t matter. They kept going, then went the extra mile. They were dedicated.
The first time I ever saw the beach was during our Big Oak beach trip. Nervous about the ocean, I did not get in on the first day. On day two, everybody was getting in the water. It eased my mind and I joined in the fun. The whole Ranch would eat together and have activities where we stayed. Now I travel with my family – we love trips together.
During high school, I visited my brother and met a girl from Glencoe. I knew I wanted to go out with her, but she did not want to. I just kept asking her out, not taking no for an answer. Finally, Delana agreed. Being around Delana made me get serious about life and having a family. I grew up, did right, and she stuck with me – agreeing to get married. Early days of marriage were easy. She took care of everything and kept me in line. Becoming a dad was not easy, but having Lana walk with me made the path smoother. We have two great sons. Lana and I were not planning for a third, but then our baby girl came along. I am blessed! I love that I know my family will be there for each other.
Loyalty is important to me. I have been married and at my job for over 30 years. I still have relationships with many of my brothers from the Ranch.
As a family, my wife and I enjoy visiting the Ranch. We have volunteered with other former resident families in helping prepare for events, have gotten to know many from generations outside my own, and look forward to seeing everyone at Big Oak reunions. That is always a fun day.
My wife and I are thankful that the Ranch has made such a great effort to keep us connected. Watching one of my Ranch brothers come to know Christ recently has been the best full circle moment. God placed us at the Ranch together. We went through a lot together and, at times, chose different paths. Through Christ placing key people in our lives, we have a foundation in Him.
“I am grateful for the Hope that lives at the Ranch and also in my home.”
I grew up in church. From the youngest of age and throughout living at the Ranch, we were always in church. I am thankful for that. Jesus is not only my Savior, but He is also a Friend. It’s important that I stay connected to His path. We are blessed with a church community that strives for relationships and missions built in Christ. This directly feeds back into my early days of serving while I lived at the Ranch.
When you think about over 50 years of our Big Oak family – it’s an amazing thing. This mission that Christ brought to vision through John and Mrs. Tee, and now so many others hear His calling to Big Oak, seeing the vision of family through Hope. I am grateful for the Hope that lives at the Ranch and also in my home.